I. Had. A. Dream.

I can't believe it's been over a month since I posted. I haven't been much busier than normal, but it sure seems like a lot has happened in that past month. Let's start with the big stuff.

The night of February 25th, I had a dream I was pregnant. So, the next morning, I had to take a test, just to see. I had one test at home, and it was a $1 test from the dollar store. It showed a faint positive, maybe?!? I just couldn't tell for sure, I told my husband the exciting news. But, followed up with, I don't know if I can trust it, I'm going to leave early for school and run to WalMart on my way.

I go to WalMart, get a "better" test, and am on my way to school. I have planning first period and decide when the perfect time to go to the bathroom would be. (You may be thinking, I cannot believe she'd do that at work, well, you are crazy if you think I'd be able to wait until after school.) I stick the test in my pocket, like a guilty criminal, and race to the bathroom. In the process of taking the test, just to double check, the principal decides to have an unannounced fire drill. Picture this, me (already feeling semi-dirty & a little paranoid) sitting in the bathroom of an old filthy junior high school taking a pregnancy test, and out of nowhere the fire alarm starts going off. I honestly didn't know it was coming and didn't know if it was a drill or something real. I freaked, maybe said something along the lines of "you have got to be kidding me", shoved the test in my pocket, zipped my pocket tight and ran out of the building. I wasn't thinking about the students, are they all out, everyone safe? All I was thinking was, so, is it going to say positive or negative and crap, I didn't even wash my hands! Immediately once we were cleared to go back inside (it was just a drill) I ran back up to the bathroom, washed my hands and looked to see...PREGNANT!

Yikes...let the ride begin. I'm now 12 weeks and doing good. I had been really sick, but that has definitely gotten tons better since the beginning. Wonder if that means boy since I wasn't near as sick when pregnant with Flynne. Time will tell and so will that 20 week ultrasound!

In the last month, we also went to Florida for Spring Break. We had a great time and were able to relax and enjoy ourselves. I was nervous about taking a 13 month old on the airplane, but she did amazing! Flynne also loved the swimming pool and walking all over the place.

We have started to see some nicer days, where we can actually go outside without coats! Flynne seems to be happier outside than inside, however she just wants to get into everything she shouldn't.

On a teacher's note: today, I wore my hair curly. Something I hardly ever do. The girls love it, the boys, not so much. I had one 6th grade student in particular, say to me (serious as can be & if you knew him, you'd know he is extremely literal and has no filter) "sooo....what's with the bad hair day??" I laughed, out loud. The girl sitting beside him says, "Mrs. Chandler, how can you not be mad at Matt* for saying that, that was so mean of him." I reassured her that I was okay, and as a teacher you can't let that stuff get to you. She responds, "I could never do your job."

Sometimes, it's the little things!

Fresh Air Rejuvenates the Soul

I have been itching to get outside and the sunshine is making Spring feel that much closer. On a few of my drives to school last week, I even had to wear my sunglasses! I love my sunglasses and I feel like they've been in hiding all winter.

A few weeks ago, we had a sunny, but still chilly Sunday afternoon. Billy & Moses went for a run, and I decided to bundle Flynne up and take her for a little stroller ride. She loved every bit of it and couldn't stop oohing and ahhing over everything. It was short lived, but it sure was nice to clear our lungs!

This Saturday, March 9, we bundled up and went out again, except it was 48 degrees! Seemed like summer to us! And then on Sunday, it was over 60! Amazing! We were outside as much as possible and can't wait until warm weather is here to stay. Here's a couple pictures from our trips outside!

Just Another Day

On any given day, at school, I feel that my role is not only a teacher, but a mom, a friend, a counselor and "the f-ing teacher".

I leave the house at 7:30am as a wife to my husband and a mom to my daughter. I walk into the school building at 7:45am and my roles have changed, a little. When I decided I wanted to go back to school to be a teacher, I never thought about everything else I'd have to be too.

I was going to school to teach kids math & reading, not to talk about their issues (you forget how many issues middle schoolers have) or to hug them. I was going to school to be serious & show kids that learning is important, not sit in my classroom laughing so hard because the students are hilarious & crack me up on a daily basis. I was going to school to learn how to help students succeed, not to tell them their clothes are on backwards and how to dress correctly. I was going to school to have a job that was rewarding & boy did I get that!

These kids range from hilarious to frustrating, but what really gets me is all the extra baggage these kiddos bring to school with them, which is why I'm also a counselor and friend.

When I was in elementary & middle school, I had no idea that the classmate sitting beside me smelled because his parents didn't wash his clothes for him, or that the girl who never had her homework done was more worried about making dinner for her younger siblings, doing their laundry & putting them to bed. This is real life folks! How can one be so naive?

You mean not every one of my classmates had a mom at home who packed their lunch? Or loved them even if they were a pain-in-the-a** sometimes? They didn't have a cooked meal every night, or parents who didn't fight? Really? Their parent never asked about their grades, or helped them study spelling words?

Honestly, growing up, I never was aware of any of the struggles my fellow classmates had. It's typical as a child to assume that their home life is not abnormal, that everyone's is just like theirs.

I'm sure, that maybe one day I would discover this on my own, that life isn't always perfect & that there are children who have BIG issues going on at home. I think that being a teacher has made me experience & learn this faster than normal, or maybe not. Anyway, it's a good wake up call, and has made me appreciate my childhood even more than I already did & how I want to raise Flynne.

But, most importantly, I'm able to do what I can to help these children on a daily basis. Each student/kid is totally different and they may not share what's going on outside of school, but it means a lot when they trust you to lean on. I feel a small success when a child turns to me, or comes and gives me a big hug, or even apologizes for calling me "the f-ing teacher", because deep down, I know they trust me, care about me, and look up to me, not as just their teacher but as a friend too!

It's seeing & talking to these students where you learn that in the end, it is the small things that mean the most.

Happy Birthday Mama!

Today, I want to wish my beautiful mama a very happy birthday! I feel so blessed to have been able to celebrate 27 of my mom's birthdays with her. I try to make a point throughout the year, to let her (& my dad) know just how much I love and appreciate them, and not always save it for only their birthday, or Mother's Day or Father's Day.

I'm a believer that the ones we love should be constantly reminded of how much they mean to us on a daily basis and just how important they are in our lives. In the back of my head, I don't want there to ever be regrets, wish I would have said, hope they knew, if I had one more chance... I leave with a hug, an I love you, and never upset or mad.

Now, back to my mama. Growing up I never would have thought that my mom and I would be best friends. As a child, your mom is your mom, and that's what you see her as. But, as you grow up and thankfully mature, you may realize that she's more than just your mom, she's my sister I never had, my best friend, my daughter's "grammie", she's my confidant, she's the one who fights for me, who picks up the phone when I'm having a breakdown, or need to vent, she's the one who talks me through a rough day, or gives me advice on things you may not always want advice on. She's also the person who knows me better than anyone else on this Earth & without her I'd feel lost, but she's taught me strength that I also know I'd survive.

She's taught me to accept others, because after all, she's accepted me for all my quirks and "telling it like it is" personality. She's helped me see the brighter side of people and not to focus on the darker.

My mom is strong, caring and a hard-worker. She's showed me that you can be a working mom and that your kids will still thrive and succeed in life. And, at the end of the day, the quality of time with your children can be more important than the quantity. She's taught me that as a parent you no longer put yourself first, and that in everything, your children are number one. I feel that both my parents did this for my brother & I, and there is a part of me that feels guilty, but as a parent now, I understand why.

I can always count on my mom, for anything. I know she (& my dad) are my #1 fans and that they are always in mine & my family's corner!

I know our relationship may be rare and it may not be. I know there are lots of mothers & daughters who aren't as close as we are, who don't share the bond we do, and for our special relationship, I'm extremely grateful. I'd by lying if I said I didn't want this for Flynne & me someday. What a blessing, to be able to call my mom, my very best friend!

So, today, we celebrate mom (Grammie) and hope she has the best birthday yet! We all love you tons & are so grateful to have you as such an important part of our lives!

Happy Birthday!

"Every day's a holiday, celebrate just living"

SnOw DaY!

Two Fridays ago, we had a SNOW DAY! Our first one of the school year! What a pleasant surprise, being a teacher on a morning of a possible delay/ snow day takes me back to being a kid. How many times can I hit the refresh button on the web page to just hope my school will pop up next??? I get this adrenaline rush that doesn't go away, and in fact, it stays so long that I'm awake at 5:30 and not even tired anymore. Maybe, someday, I will figure out how to control my excitement and enjoy sleep more.

I typically get a text if school is delayed or closed around 5:45 - 6, I probably make some comment like, "yes" or "finally" or "yippee"! I then hear my husband grumble, "snow day? congratulations" in the most sarcastic, jealous tone ever! I can't help but smile! I LOVE SNOW DAYS!

Flynne & I enjoyed our snow day together to the fullest. We made rounds to my grandmas, her great-grandmas. We went to Grandma Emmons' for lunch (yummy) and then after her afternoon nap we went to Grandma Hubers.

Taking Flynne to my grandmas houses made me realize just how great of a setup we have for Flynne in our living room, and how hard it is to take her somewhere that is not baby proofed! Much much easier to have people to our house, especially when they have stuff EVERYWHERE!

I feel very blessed when I get to spend extra unexpected days with Flynne, and they only make me want to stay home more! I also feel blessed to get to visit my grandmas and let Flynne play & read with them :) "What an awesome day," that's what grandpa Emmons would have said!

Holy Moses

On Sunday night, I was tired and after a long weekend of playing and enjoying family time we went to bed early. I passed out and was sound asleep, which isn't always typical, I'm normally sleeping with one eye & ear open, listening for Flynne.

Around 2:30am I woke up suddenly to a large furry excited figure barreling toward me in bed. I freaked. Literally, jumped as sideways and backwards as I could into my husband, while screaming. I guess my husband heard him coming & wasn't awakened by my screaming, thank goodness! Because if he was, I'm sure I'd just have been "over-reacting", like I do with 99% of everything else in my life, according to him!

Moses, our big furry white golden retriever, is not an upstairs dog. Just in the last month or so, Moses has been allowed to sleep outside of his crate, the first time in his almost two years of life. Also, up until now he was such a baby that he wouldn't even think about going through a doorway that was partially opened, or the gates that are all over the house.

He is definitely full of energy and loves people & attention. Even though Moses can be high maintenance, he is a part of our family & we love him tons.

Dinner AND a BaBy!

Saturday, at 4 o'clock, I decided we needed a family outing. So, I convinced my husband that it would be a great idea to go to Mansfield to Outback for dinner, then to Sam's Club for essentials and a quick return to Target. And, since I said "family outing" this meant that we also took Flynne & Moses. (Moses will sit in the car for hours, as long as he is with us!)

Even though I called ahead to Outback, we still had to wait about 5 minutes to get seated, not an issue, but they were super busy. We got seated and I cleaned off the high chair for Flynne (so what if I'm an anal mom). Flynne was eating puffs and having a good old time. I even made the comment, stupid me, how it was nice that it was a little louder and didn't really matter if Flynne had a sudden outburst of sound!

Right before our food came is when she decided that she no longer wanted to be in her high chair and flailed her body around until we took her out, while screaming! Welp, there went our nice family outing. Billy decided he should pick up his eating speed (maybe the first time in a year he's had to sacrifice a meal) while I tried to get Flynne to eat something. He then took Flynne to go walk around, because all she really wants right now is to be independent, and I seriously devoured my salad in less than 7 minutes, which is typical, because all moms know that if you want to eat, you better do it fast!

We made it to Sam's Club and as usual I managed to spend too much money in under 20 minutes and I'm not joking, every time my husband says, "did you know you were going to spend that much?" And every time I remind him that the two boxes of diapers add up to almost $80! Raising a child is not cheap! But neither is managing a household and feeding a family! AND they are ALL worth it :)

Moral of our night, "we need more date nights". We attempted to go out, it failed! At least we can say we tried! Here's to a night out as a couple soon & here's to all our dinners in as a family, because honestly I wouldn't trade them for the world!

Bathroom Remodel

This past week flew by. It seems like I've been super busy & lots has happened, but I don't have too much to talk about.

Flynne's been teething & a little on the fussy side. Thank goodness for ibuprofen, I seriously think she knows when she needs it AND that it makes her feel better. Or maybe, I want to think she knows that because, after all, don't we all want our kids to be geniuses. Teething and fussiness also mean she hasn't hardly napped at all for the last week. This is normally not a huge deal, but I was given a book to read from a friend that was REALLY good! All I wanted was 30 minutes to read, I'm not that picky!

Instead, over my 4 day weekend I don't think I got hardly any pages completed, oh well, I did get in a ton of quality time with my sweet girl. She's walking all over & surprising us with words & sounds all the time.

My husband slaved away all weekend working in our new bathroom. He tiled the floor (all by himself) and did an AMAZING job! He's so talented, what a catch! On Wednesday night, we started painting the bathroom once Flynne was in bed. It went pretty smooth & quick! We went out of our box on the color choice & are anxious to see how it all comes together. I'll post a picture of our color choices and let you guess which one we chose!

The walls are painted, cabinets are in & one light is hung! I'll post updated picks soon!

Valentine's Day Love

On Valentine's Day I had conferences until 8, one of the longest days of the school year, and the second longest time I've been away from Flynne. I know, I should be very grateful that I have a job where I see my child more than others get to see their own. It's still hard.

Conferences are kind of a joke sometimes, parents don't schedule times & it's a first-come first-serve style. Being a middle school teacher I hardly ever have any parents, which makes it even harder to sit in my classroom from 2 to 8. My fellow teacher and I have great plans of completing progress reports, paperwork, etc. during this time, however it NEVER happens. We share a classroom and have become very good at distracting each other, always. And maybe a bit of her procrastination has rubbed off on me, nevertheless, I don't know how I'd get through some days without her!

Sometimes we like to distract other teachers too, and on this night we had too much fun making our husbands Valentine's Day cards, chatting, & having probably more fun than some of the other teachers would prefer. We don't care though, it helps is get through, and what's wrong with having some fun on the job!

While I was chatting it up in another classroom, I was surprised by a parent in the hallway, who also works at Annette's Victorian Garden, with a beautiful arrangement of flowers from Billy & Flynne! What a pleasant surprise! They were & still are gorgeous! I'm truly blessed by my thoughtful husband, & best friend.

I feel like I'm blessed in so many aspects of my life, and on this day & always, I appreciate my best friends at school, my husband, Flynne & family!

Lutherans & Catherans

On Thursday, one of my students tells me that he did his homework, but he left it at church last night. This is a common excuse from him lately and I kind of just shook my head. (Sidenote: this student just started going to church and has probably never been to church in his life before now, I think this is great & highly encourage it.) He then proceeds to tell me that it was Ash Wednesday and shows me the bulletin as proof he was there. I said, "I know it was Ash Wednesday, I'm a Christian too!" His reply, "Mrs. Chandler, I'm not a Christian, it's a Lutheran church." Funny, right? Well, I didn't laugh since I knew this is all new to him. I tried to explain to him that there are many denominations, but that if you believe in God, then you are a Christian too. He said, matter of factly, "I know, there are Lutherans and Catherans..." At this point I was walking him to the door, smiled and told him to have a good night. Bless his heart, he meant Catholics, I think!

This student is the same student who has an extreme number of missing assignments and poor grades. The other day during intervention, he had a Bible, Catechism book & notecards on his desk. I proceeded to ask him what he was doing. Making flash cards for church! Well, that's great and all, but what about all the missing school work you could AND should be working on. I had to tell him to put it away and that now wasn't the time to work on that.

As I was telling a small group of teachers about this, they laughed and then one said, "maybe you should let him work on those notecards, at least he would be doing something." Hmm..that's a great thought, but where do you draw the line? This then leads me to my next thoughts. Wouldn't it be so much better to be able to have God back in school? Why can't we talk about Him? What if I would be able to introduce other kids to Christ and the awesome things he brings to our lives? (I know I could teach at a private school, but my point is that there are tons of kids who aren't fortunate enough to have parents that take them to Church & these are some of the kids that need Him the most). I can't imagine being in 8th grade and just now getting introduced to God, just now going to church for the first time.

I think back to my own childhood, how I took going to church and being raised in a Christian based home with good morals and ethics, for granted. How could I be so naive? Doesn't everyone go to church on Sunday mornings? Doesn't everyone go to Sunday School? Don't all families pray together before dinner and say prayers before bed? Growing up I dreaded Sunday mornings, "dad, do we HAVE to go to church?" His reply was always the same, "Erin, you GET to go to church". My brother and I would grumble, but what I didn't know, was how fortunate I was. I didn't know there were other little kids everywhere that probably really wanted to go to church, who wanted to see what we did on Sunday mornings and wanted to know who this God person was.

I hope my husband and I can instill in Flynne the "GET TOs" of life and not the "HAVE TOs". I hope we are able to raise her with good morals & ethics, and start a strong Christian foundation for her, like my parents did for me. I hope she WANTS to go to church and share what she learns with her friends. I hate that I took a lot of my childhood for granted, but I'm sure we all do, until we grow up and realize what's important & what truly matters in life.

**this post can definitely be elaborated on & I already have many different thoughts that I could add...for another day!

Hair Makeover

I'm quite compulsive when it comes to my hair. It normally goes something like this, I can't stand it anymore, I'm chopping it off. I then hurry and text my beautician (is that really what they are still called?) and see how soon I can get in. I make an appointment, and then stew about whether I really want to chop it off. I'm now sitting in the chair and tell her to cut it to my chin. Really? Yes, that's about 3 inches! Or 5 or 6, she's says! Go for it, just cut it and be done. She does and I love it!

Now, my normal cheap or lazy self would let my new cute style grow another 5 or 6 inches before a trim and/or cut. I really like my new cut and semi-promised her that I would keep up with it this time! We'll see.

**I got my hair cut on a Saturday, so going back to work on Monday was as if I was a totally different person. Students, both boys and girls, are extremely observant. Immediately they were making comments, but I had one that stuck out! I walked into one of my classrooms and one of the students said "Mrs. Chandler, you got your hair cut, I love it!" Thanks, I replied. Then another student (boy) speaks up and says, "WHYYYY?" (while sort of putting his hands up). I turned around & laughed and then asked him, "who are you, my husband?" He laughed & admitted he liked my hair longer. For real, these 8th graders are pretty darn opinionated & don't have a problem with sharing their thoughts.

Temper Tantrums, already???

Literally, on Flynne's 1st Birthday, I witnessed her first temper tantrum. Holy moly! I was kind of in awe and couldn't really believe it was happening. What was wrong with her. She enjoys playing with our phones and watching "Gigglebellies" on YouTube. I had a video "If You're Happy & You Know It" on the phone (how ironic!) and once it ended she was so mad. Threw the phone down, and then proceeded to throw her body against the floor and kick her legs. Flynne isn't around other kids much, which leads me to this question... Where in the world did she learn this? I really didn't know how to respond, but I do know that everything I did only made her more mad! Both my husband and I are hoping this isn't the beginning of the terrible twos, since she is JUST one! I'm continually reminded by many, that OUR sweet daughter may have a little bit of her momma in her! Good for her! She's blessed! :)

Wild Woman Walking

Flynne is WALKING! She had absolutely no interest in walking & had made it clear that it was going to be all on her own terms. Towards the end of last week she started walking away from her toys instead of sitting down & crawling. We were able to get her on camera the first night! She gets so excited and is very proud of herself for reaching her destination. Now, she's walking more than crawling while playing in the living room. It's a bittersweet moment when you realize your child is growing up, and reaching another milestone.

FlashMob

On Friday, I was asked or somewhat forced to participate in a Flash Mob at school for an assembly Monday. Really??? Thanks for the heads up. Of course, inside, I was like oh yea, this will be fun. Then Monday rolled around, I didn't know the whole dance & was stressed about it. I had anxiety like my students do who have to get up in front of the class to give a speech. I felt sick to my stomach, seriously! What was I thinking? Why in the world would I commit to something like this? I have to get up in front of 300 plus people, granted a majority of them were younger than 14, but still.

The dance was for an assembly on anti-bullying & accepting everyone for who they are. It ended up being a lot of fun & thank goodness one of my best friends likes to have a good time, she stole the show! There were probably 40 students and 10 or so teachers involved. The other students seemed to really like it too. One of the best parts is that the students can see that we aren't just teachers, but people who like to have a good time & are able to laugh, smile & DANCE!

Struggles of an IS

As an Intervention Specialist, on a daily basis I have an internal debate with myself on whether I'm doing the best I can at my job. In my school building we practice inclusion. Inclusion is the educational practice of educating children with disabilities in classrooms with children without disabilities. This has been around for awhile, but only within the last 3 or 4 years has it been implemented in my school building. I teach with some pretty great people, but some of them seem to have their ways of teaching set & I don't always know where I fit in "their" classroom. I think co-teaching (teaching alongside & with the classroom teacher) would be great, but I don't exactly know how to begin that.

Traditionally, an intervention specialist in an inclusion setting is an observer during the general education teacher’s lesson, where they might circulate to make sure their students are focused and listening. At the end of the lesson, they often circulate to help those students who didn’t understand what they were doing or pulling small groups to reteach or intervene. Their expertise is in reteaching in small groups or one-on-one. They are not used to delivering a lesson in front of a whole classroom.

Which leads me back to co-teaching. I'm not used to teaching the whole class, nor am I completely familiar with everything that is being taught in the general classroom everyday. I get accused of helping the kids too much, guiding them more than they need, and not making them do more on their own. I came across this following paragraph and couldn't say it any better myself:

"Intervention specialists are trained to understand the minds and thought processes of students on IEP’s, but now we are asking them to understand the minds and thought processes of the general education student as well. Now, that may not seem like a big deal, but believe me, it is a completely different way of thinking and requires a different way of teaching. It’s more hands-off at times, offering minimal guidance as needed. This is foreign to an intervention specialist who is used to restating and reteaching until the light comes on. The challenge is to not give too much help, which might result in the general education students relying too heavily on her when they might not need that extra help."

I would love to work closer with my general education teachers to benefit the students as much as possible, but this then leads me to my next issue. I have both 6th & 8th grade students this year, which means I'm expected to be in 6th grade Math, Reading & English, AND 8th grade Math & Reading all in the same day. Let me also add that all of those 5 classes mean there are 5 different teachers too. Since I'm "responsible" for the student's on IEPs, I'm also assumed to be their parent at times. I can only do so much with these kids. I cannot pick up their pencil & complete their homework for them. I can't make them magically pass a test. I can't force them to focus & be "good students" AND I can't take away their disability, BUT what I CAN do is help them with their homework, reteach a lesson, show them patience & let them know & show them that I care, not only about their schoolwork, but about their lives too. I feel like a rubber band being stretched in so many different directions. Don't get me wrong, I love my job & enjoy the daily challenge. I work very well with a couple of my general education teachers and what we do works, I just hope I'm serving my students the best I can! Because, after all, if I'm going to be a working mom & away from my daughter every week day, I better be making it worth while!

Pokes. Shots. Screams.

On Wednesday after school I rushed home to change and get Flynne ready for her one year checkup. Talk about mixed feelings! I'm always excited to see how much she has grown & where she is on the growth chart, but I'm also as nervous as a cow in a beef factory, because I know she has to get lots of shots. (Okay, I might not be THAT bad, but it's pretty bad).

When we walked into the office the first thing Flynne did was give a big old scowl to the sweet receptionists. Lately, she's developed an attitude toward strangers, which isn't awful, but not always fun for everyone else! She finally lightened up & was able to give a little wave. We were called back & the first thing the nurse did was weigh Flynne...all 23lbs of her! This puts her in the 85th percentile for weight. She's a little over 29 inches long, the 50th percentile. Poor girl is short & chubby! The doctor assured me that she was healthy & I had nothing to worry about.

Flynne eventually warmed up to the doctor and showed off her babbling, waving & acrobatic skills. Then...the worse part came. TWO nurses came in to tag team her. One poked her finger for lead & iron testing (which she didn't mind much) & then the other prepped her cute chunky thighs for 3 sharp painful pokes! And then the real fun began, it wasn't one second after the first jab that poor Miss Flynne was red-faced, screaming & had tears streaming down her rosy cheeks. I felt awful (as all normal people would). Here I am pinning her arms & body down, and all I want to do is take away her pain. She has this look in her eyes like, "Mom, what are you doing to me? Please stop!" Finally, the whole process that maybe takes 30 seconds, but feels like forever, is over. She's now crying uncontrollably & taking those deep short breaths that really make it sad. BUT, as soon as the nurses left the room & closed the door, she stopped, just like that! Thank goodness! Done with that, at least until her 15 month checkup. Boo!

When we got home I removed her bandaids immediately & then proceeded to read the different shot information handouts. Ugh! Why would I be so stupid to do that? My advice to you: DO NOT READ THOSE! I then officially freaked myself out & sent a friend a text immediately. She calmed me down & told me to "stop googling scary stories, she is fine". (Sounds like something my mom would say!) Well, I actually didn't google anything, just read the nice handout the doctors gave me. I took a deep breath & said a prayer, what's worrying going to do anyway, right?!?

So far, Flynne has done great & those stupid shots haven't phased her :)

con•trol freak

con•trol freak - noun
A person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control and to take command of any situation.

Remember when I said I like to be in control? I have always found it very hard to adjust and accept others requests that I do not always agree with, or more bluntly, that I don't want to do. I'm 27 years old and still haven't learned how to "not sweat the small stuff". I'm trying to enjoy every moment & enjoy the little things, but when will I learn to let go of the things I can't control? I wonder why everyone doesn't think like I do? Clearly, I'm one of the more "common-sensed" thinkers, according to myself, but that doesn't matter when I'm dealing with other people. Sometimes this just makes it all that more frustrating. Of course, this is my own opinion, and I'm not saying it's right or wrong or good or bad, I'm admitting that I have trouble accepting things I can't do anything about, I don't have a say in, or something I'm being TOLD to do.

That being said, I suppose my next area of improvement should be to not be such a control freak. Things are things & money is money, but family, friends & coworkers are all deserving of a happy & positive attitude, someone who is willing to do whatever needs to be done, even if you don't like it, don't want to do it, or think it's plain stupid.

I'm trying to make positive changes in my life and this is definitely something that won't happen over night. My first step is to take a deep breath & acknowledge that we are all different and not everyone thinks like me, or cares about the same things I do, or has the same interests or style as I do. If we were all the same, that would be an awfully boring life. I'm definitely not the life of the party, or the queen of style (I'm normally in khakis & a plain sweater), or super smart, or hilarious. But I am a caring & compassionate person who enjoys making others smile and reaching out to people that I think need a smile or someone to talk to. I root for the underdog & try my best at almost everything I do (except dieting :)). When it comes down to it, I don't want to be known as the pain in the butt who was always stubborn, unwilling to budge, or difficult in certain situations. So, here's to accepting others differences & loving everyone for who they are.

Side-note from The Teacher's Lounge:
Just when I want to yell at a student for screwing around & not paying attention to me, he comes up with a comment like this, "Mrs. Chandler, how'd you ever get involved in teaching, when you could be a model? I mean seriously!" I couldn't help but laugh & smile, because honestly if you knew the source, you'd only laugh too!

Two-Hour Delays = Extra Snuggles

Over the past couple of weeks we have had 4 two-hour delays, including yesterday. Two-hour delays are something I've come to love. It is definitely worth the text that wakes me up at 5:30am. Now, you may think, really, you are excited about 2 hours? Do you know what I get to do in my extra 2 hours? I typically get ready at the same time as normal & I am able to keep Flynne on her typical schedule. No, I don't sleep in or stay in my pajamas, I spend as much quality time with my daughter as possible. I'm able to get her dressed in no rush, feed her a bottle on her time (I don't have to constantly look at the clock & think I only have 15 more minutes), we get to read books, play with toys, snuggle, & eat breakfast together.

As a working mom I've come to cherish every minute with Flynne & as my husband continually reminds me, since I'm working I don't take for granted the time I get to spend with my daughter or him. I can't wait to come home & play with her & I never have the feeling of please help me, I need a break. As of right now there aren't many places we don't go without Flynne, and on Saturday we'll get to have our first date night in a long time! I even then feel guilty not being home with her, even though she will be in bed for most of it. I feel guilty a lot of the time for working & missing her day, but I know it's what we have decided we need to do as a family right now & that it may not always be like this. I sometimes calculate how much time I miss of Flynne's day (she's with Miss Penny for 7 hours) and I account for her naps, which comes down to roughly 4 1/2 hours. This is if she takes two 1 to 1 1/2 hour naps. When I put it into perspective that I end up missing 4 1/2 hours of wake time, it doesn't seem AS bad. I'm blessed to not have to come home & clean or take time to make dinner (most of the time) & can really just go in the living room & play!

Every family is different & their choices are all their own. For my family, this is what we've chosen to do right now & by sticking together & working as a team, we make it work :)

ONE year ago today!

How can it be? One year ago today my life changed in a way I never could have imagined & I really can't even describe. We welcomed Flynne Anabelle into our lives at 5:52pm weighing in at 6lbs13oz. She was a tiny peanut ready to meet the world.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. I woke up at 6:30am thinking something was going on, my sweet husband told me to take a shower & he was sure I'd feel better after that! (He had told me since Monday of that week that he was going to sleep in Saturday morning!) So, I did take a shower & it only got worse. We drove to Wooster on a snowy morning & got checked into the hospital. My husband and I spent the day sort of "waiting" with no visitors. We finally welcomed the best gift of all later that evening!

It's crazy for me to think that it's really already been ONE year. I swear a year has never gone this fast in my life before. Flynne went from being so helpless & dependent on me to becoming more independent each day. She has a little bit of her mommy in her & I can already see the stubbornness & will to do it on her own, in her eyes. She's inquisitive & explores everything. She's hilarious & makes the funniest faces I've ever seen. She likes to cuddle & gives the best kisses. She is my daughter, my first born & a best friend. I don't know what I'd do without her. She brings so much joy & love into our lives each & every day. I hope she grows up knowing just how special & loved she is! I can't wait to celebrate many more birthdays & milestones with Flynne Anabelle!

Flynne's FIRST Birthday Party!

Yesterday, we celebrated Flynne! I can't believe she's already ONE. We had a nice gathering with family to help us celebrate. Everyone munched on food, food & more food as well as lots of desserts. (I have pictures of the food on a different camera, I'll post later!) Flynne did amazingly well & was not scared of everyone singing "Happy Birthday" to her. Even Uncle Randy didn't scare her with his awesome singing voice ;) She thoroughly enjoyed watching her little cousins run around and do everything possible to try & make her laugh. One of our highlights was getting to Skype with my brother & sis-in-law (sister) in California! We connected with them on the big screen & they were able to see Flynnie and her cute outfit, as well as everyone else at the party.

We feel so very blessed to have such an amazing family & so many people who love us & Flynne! I know that family is something that can be taken for granted & sometimes you don't appreciate them like you should. But, the older & wiser I get, the more I realize how special our families are. With all of our differences, uniqueness & quirks, we are all individuals who make up a pretty great group of people. I don't know of any other families out there that could call upon any parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle or cousin (on both sides) and know that they would do anything for us at anytime. What an amazing feeling to know how lucky & blessed we truly are. I'm so proud to raise my daughter in a family that values their relationships and is so caring, loving & compassionate for one another. Below are just a couple pictures from Flynne's big day!

I made the "smash cake" below. Super easy & so cute!

It's Friday!!!

I have come to love Fridays. The last day of the work week, casual attire (jeans), text messages from two of my closest teacher friends before we even leave our houses asking who wants Starbucks, knowing that the weekend is just ahead of us & family time is right around the corner. I think of Toby Keith's song (I think he sang it?) "Working for the Weekend". This has become so true in my life. I do like my job, I enjoy my students & have developed amazing friendships with coworkers, but I LOVE my family. Being away from Flynne everyday is extremely hard. I'd be lying if I said I walked out the door at 7:20am and never thought about her. The minute I leave I wonder if she knows I've left, if she's crying for me, if she'll remember that I wasn't with her everyday. Some mornings are better than others and I try to be as strong as I can. I've only cried a couple times and it helps that two of my best friends at school also have babies, we are able to help get each other through the day. As well as random comments from our students that make us laugh when we probably shouldn't! But that's another post for a different day. I know on Friday mornings that I won't have to leave her until Monday and that I can forget about work for the weekend, sorta! Tonight I was doing some finishing touches for my big girl's first birthday party tomorrow. I'm overwhelmed with emotions & can't wait to celebrate her with our family tomorrow...

Facebook = Bad Relationship

Tonight, as I was rocking Flynne to sleep, I got my phone out to check Facebook as soon as she drifted off to dreamland. My precious daughter was sound a sleep in my arms & here I was looking to see what happened in the last 30 minutes regarding people I hardly even know. It sucks me in more than I'd like to believe and like I've stated before, I'm a control freak, but in this situation I'm the one getting controlled. Which really irks me. While scrolling through the current newsfeed I came across an article about being "hands free" and how all of the social media, cell phones, twitter, Facebook are consuming our lives and pulling us away from the ones we love. Wow! Talk about hitting you square in the face. I take a moment to turn & watch my daughter sleep so innocently not knowing how much our world has changed. I have a thousand thoughts running through my head, why do I have Facebook? What do I even gain from checking it constantly? Does it really help me stay in contact with my closest friends & family who mean the most to me? I gain NOTHING & it does NOT help me stay in contact with my dearest friends & family. So why do I have it? I'm nosey, curious, want to stay connected to people I haven't talked to in 8 years? I don't know the real reason, but I know it's not worth it. I obviously have no self-control when it comes to checking it once a day, or when I'm by myself. Being a full time teacher, wife & mommy is challenging enough & I continue to learn what matters the most. In 5 years, I don't want my daughter to think all mommy does is play on her phone all the time. I want her to know she has my full attention when telling me what happened while I was gone, or when she's babbling & reading me a book. I want her to know that while we are in the car I'll be singing along with her & describing the things we see out the window as we pass by. I want her to know that I'm watching her every move at gymnastics, soccer, or whatever else she is involved in & not playing on my phone. I want her to know that the real way to communicate is face to face, looking each other in the eye, not on the Internet. Most importantly, I want her to know that I'm always here for her whenever she needs me & not preoccupied by other things. Like I've said before, it's the little things that matter because in the end, they are the BIG things. So, tonight, I've posted my last Facebook post, saying bye bye! I know I've done this before, just like Brett Favre, but this time it's for real, seriously! I look forward to my new life of soaking up more quality time with my daughter & husband!

So.Much.Snot.

Flynne has had a cold (sore throat & runny nose) since last Friday. As many of you mommy's with little kids know, when they are stuffy, both of us are miserable. When Flynne was sent home from the hospital at 2 days old, they also sent home a snot sucker. The old fashioned blue bulb is beyond horrible. I personally feel like I have to stretch the nostrils to infinity & beyond to try and get anything out. You squeeze as much air as possible out before sticking it in the nose while hoping to extract all that snot. Maybe some of you are more "skilled" at it than me, good for you! Or, you could be like my cousin, who when trying to clean out her nieces nose, actually blew all of the air in her nose instead of sucking it out. Poor Lydia! My frustrations led me to search Amazon for the "best nasal aspirator". I came across "Nosefrida The Snotsucker". Now, before you freak out let me tell you how awesome this thing is. It is doctor-developed and doctor-recommended and ingeniously simple Swedish design features a tube that is placed against the nostril (not inside). Parents use their own suction to draw mucus out of their child's nose. Disposable filters prevent any bacterial transfer. Nosefrida is easy to clean, dishwasher safe, and BPA and Phthalate free. It is superior to the bulb aspirator, presents no risk or harm to internal nasal structures and is dramatically more efficacious.Sounds absolutely disgusting, right? Well, maybe it is a little odd, but it is always a fun challenge to see just how much can be sucked into the tube. It really works & you can see the results! I recommend squirting some nasal spray first. My husband has yet to try it & I doubt he ever will. As one review on amazon said, "it's one of the most disgusting things I've ever loved".

Cleaning Copper

Two weeks ago my "cleaning fairies" came for a visit. (This is one reason why I am NOT superwoman, because I simply can't do it all anymore). As I was getting ready to run out the door as soon as they came, the one shouted, "hey Erin, you really need to clean the fireplace hood". Ugh. I was waiting for this, but dread the job. It's time consuming, dirty & nearly impossible to do correctly. You may ask, why don't your fairies do this? Well, I pay them too much to take time to work on just this. After my heavy groan the one says, it's a great job for your husband! I nearly laughed out loud knowing he would never in a million years try to tackle this job. That afternoon I turned to my trusty old friend google for "ways to clean a copper fire place hood". The remedies ranged from lemon & vinegar to copper cleaner (duh) to ketchup! WTH...ketchup? Odd, right? Of course I like to be a little different and surprise people with weird things. How cool would it be if I said, you're not going to believe this, I cleaned my copper hood with ketchup! That's all the motivation I needed to start this task I've been putting off for over two years. It took some work, but I did it! Lots of ketchup, paper towels, and rags, but the job is done. I'm not sure I really ever want to eat ketchup again after seeing what it can do. I can't wait until the cleaning fairies come back on Monday & check it out!

Finished Product!

Right side clean. Left side dirty.

Big stuff...Little steps

Last night Flynne, our almost year old daughter, took SIX steps. Both her daddy & I were there to witness the beginning of a walking wild child. We just bought a new video camera and of course it hasn't been charged yet. Hopefully we can get a video tonight! I also decided at 5 o'clock yesterday to turn off the television and turn on Pandora radio to our "toddler radio" of course. Flynne loves listening to music and even babbles along to it, especially to the ABC song! I've discovered that she tends to play more & independently when there is music on in the background. She can be a tv head like her daddy & not want to take her eyes off of it if it's on! She was in rare form last night, dancing, wiggling, "head-banging", and being noisy!

On a teacher note, this week I'm benchmarking 8th graders for reading. Kind of boring, but fun to hear them read & good for them to know I don't just sit at my desk all day drinking Starbucks, like some of my coworkers believe! Anyway, one of the passages they have to read is about jellyfish & has the phrase "they have curly, long tentacles", yep, you guessed it, one of our more energetic, "tough guys" was reading to me and substituted "testicles" for "tentacles"! Ever have a moment where it is so inappropriate to laugh? I swear those are the times that are also the hardest to contain yourself. Poor kid, I finally got it together!

& so it begins...

I've tossed around the idea of starting a blog for quite awhile now, but I just wasn't quite sure it was for me. Why would I want to write about my life? Is it interesting enough to capture someone else's attention? Will anyone take the time to read my ramblings? Who really cares what I or my family does every day? My husband thinks it's a little weird, his response to me telling him I'm starting a blog, "you really think you need write about your life for other people to read". I don't know. I'm searching for an outlet where I can say what's on my mind, share a funny story that happened at school, let the ones I love experience all the great things my daughter does, and mainly, just be creative & use what God gave me. This could range from my sense of humor, my obsessiveness of everything needing to be organized, my type A personality & wanting to always be in control of everything, trying to balance being a fulltime wife, mommy & teacher and most importantly the love I have for my family. Not just my husband, daughter and dog, but my immediate & extended family too! I hope you enjoy reading this, as much as I will enjoy writing and expressing myself!