Holy Moses

On Sunday night, I was tired and after a long weekend of playing and enjoying family time we went to bed early. I passed out and was sound asleep, which isn't always typical, I'm normally sleeping with one eye & ear open, listening for Flynne.

Around 2:30am I woke up suddenly to a large furry excited figure barreling toward me in bed. I freaked. Literally, jumped as sideways and backwards as I could into my husband, while screaming. I guess my husband heard him coming & wasn't awakened by my screaming, thank goodness! Because if he was, I'm sure I'd just have been "over-reacting", like I do with 99% of everything else in my life, according to him!

Moses, our big furry white golden retriever, is not an upstairs dog. Just in the last month or so, Moses has been allowed to sleep outside of his crate, the first time in his almost two years of life. Also, up until now he was such a baby that he wouldn't even think about going through a doorway that was partially opened, or the gates that are all over the house.

He is definitely full of energy and loves people & attention. Even though Moses can be high maintenance, he is a part of our family & we love him tons.

Dinner AND a BaBy!

Saturday, at 4 o'clock, I decided we needed a family outing. So, I convinced my husband that it would be a great idea to go to Mansfield to Outback for dinner, then to Sam's Club for essentials and a quick return to Target. And, since I said "family outing" this meant that we also took Flynne & Moses. (Moses will sit in the car for hours, as long as he is with us!)

Even though I called ahead to Outback, we still had to wait about 5 minutes to get seated, not an issue, but they were super busy. We got seated and I cleaned off the high chair for Flynne (so what if I'm an anal mom). Flynne was eating puffs and having a good old time. I even made the comment, stupid me, how it was nice that it was a little louder and didn't really matter if Flynne had a sudden outburst of sound!

Right before our food came is when she decided that she no longer wanted to be in her high chair and flailed her body around until we took her out, while screaming! Welp, there went our nice family outing. Billy decided he should pick up his eating speed (maybe the first time in a year he's had to sacrifice a meal) while I tried to get Flynne to eat something. He then took Flynne to go walk around, because all she really wants right now is to be independent, and I seriously devoured my salad in less than 7 minutes, which is typical, because all moms know that if you want to eat, you better do it fast!

We made it to Sam's Club and as usual I managed to spend too much money in under 20 minutes and I'm not joking, every time my husband says, "did you know you were going to spend that much?" And every time I remind him that the two boxes of diapers add up to almost $80! Raising a child is not cheap! But neither is managing a household and feeding a family! AND they are ALL worth it :)

Moral of our night, "we need more date nights". We attempted to go out, it failed! At least we can say we tried! Here's to a night out as a couple soon & here's to all our dinners in as a family, because honestly I wouldn't trade them for the world!

Bathroom Remodel

This past week flew by. It seems like I've been super busy & lots has happened, but I don't have too much to talk about.

Flynne's been teething & a little on the fussy side. Thank goodness for ibuprofen, I seriously think she knows when she needs it AND that it makes her feel better. Or maybe, I want to think she knows that because, after all, don't we all want our kids to be geniuses. Teething and fussiness also mean she hasn't hardly napped at all for the last week. This is normally not a huge deal, but I was given a book to read from a friend that was REALLY good! All I wanted was 30 minutes to read, I'm not that picky!

Instead, over my 4 day weekend I don't think I got hardly any pages completed, oh well, I did get in a ton of quality time with my sweet girl. She's walking all over & surprising us with words & sounds all the time.

My husband slaved away all weekend working in our new bathroom. He tiled the floor (all by himself) and did an AMAZING job! He's so talented, what a catch! On Wednesday night, we started painting the bathroom once Flynne was in bed. It went pretty smooth & quick! We went out of our box on the color choice & are anxious to see how it all comes together. I'll post a picture of our color choices and let you guess which one we chose!

The walls are painted, cabinets are in & one light is hung! I'll post updated picks soon!

Valentine's Day Love

On Valentine's Day I had conferences until 8, one of the longest days of the school year, and the second longest time I've been away from Flynne. I know, I should be very grateful that I have a job where I see my child more than others get to see their own. It's still hard.

Conferences are kind of a joke sometimes, parents don't schedule times & it's a first-come first-serve style. Being a middle school teacher I hardly ever have any parents, which makes it even harder to sit in my classroom from 2 to 8. My fellow teacher and I have great plans of completing progress reports, paperwork, etc. during this time, however it NEVER happens. We share a classroom and have become very good at distracting each other, always. And maybe a bit of her procrastination has rubbed off on me, nevertheless, I don't know how I'd get through some days without her!

Sometimes we like to distract other teachers too, and on this night we had too much fun making our husbands Valentine's Day cards, chatting, & having probably more fun than some of the other teachers would prefer. We don't care though, it helps is get through, and what's wrong with having some fun on the job!

While I was chatting it up in another classroom, I was surprised by a parent in the hallway, who also works at Annette's Victorian Garden, with a beautiful arrangement of flowers from Billy & Flynne! What a pleasant surprise! They were & still are gorgeous! I'm truly blessed by my thoughtful husband, & best friend.

I feel like I'm blessed in so many aspects of my life, and on this day & always, I appreciate my best friends at school, my husband, Flynne & family!

Lutherans & Catherans

On Thursday, one of my students tells me that he did his homework, but he left it at church last night. This is a common excuse from him lately and I kind of just shook my head. (Sidenote: this student just started going to church and has probably never been to church in his life before now, I think this is great & highly encourage it.) He then proceeds to tell me that it was Ash Wednesday and shows me the bulletin as proof he was there. I said, "I know it was Ash Wednesday, I'm a Christian too!" His reply, "Mrs. Chandler, I'm not a Christian, it's a Lutheran church." Funny, right? Well, I didn't laugh since I knew this is all new to him. I tried to explain to him that there are many denominations, but that if you believe in God, then you are a Christian too. He said, matter of factly, "I know, there are Lutherans and Catherans..." At this point I was walking him to the door, smiled and told him to have a good night. Bless his heart, he meant Catholics, I think!

This student is the same student who has an extreme number of missing assignments and poor grades. The other day during intervention, he had a Bible, Catechism book & notecards on his desk. I proceeded to ask him what he was doing. Making flash cards for church! Well, that's great and all, but what about all the missing school work you could AND should be working on. I had to tell him to put it away and that now wasn't the time to work on that.

As I was telling a small group of teachers about this, they laughed and then one said, "maybe you should let him work on those notecards, at least he would be doing something." Hmm..that's a great thought, but where do you draw the line? This then leads me to my next thoughts. Wouldn't it be so much better to be able to have God back in school? Why can't we talk about Him? What if I would be able to introduce other kids to Christ and the awesome things he brings to our lives? (I know I could teach at a private school, but my point is that there are tons of kids who aren't fortunate enough to have parents that take them to Church & these are some of the kids that need Him the most). I can't imagine being in 8th grade and just now getting introduced to God, just now going to church for the first time.

I think back to my own childhood, how I took going to church and being raised in a Christian based home with good morals and ethics, for granted. How could I be so naive? Doesn't everyone go to church on Sunday mornings? Doesn't everyone go to Sunday School? Don't all families pray together before dinner and say prayers before bed? Growing up I dreaded Sunday mornings, "dad, do we HAVE to go to church?" His reply was always the same, "Erin, you GET to go to church". My brother and I would grumble, but what I didn't know, was how fortunate I was. I didn't know there were other little kids everywhere that probably really wanted to go to church, who wanted to see what we did on Sunday mornings and wanted to know who this God person was.

I hope my husband and I can instill in Flynne the "GET TOs" of life and not the "HAVE TOs". I hope we are able to raise her with good morals & ethics, and start a strong Christian foundation for her, like my parents did for me. I hope she WANTS to go to church and share what she learns with her friends. I hate that I took a lot of my childhood for granted, but I'm sure we all do, until we grow up and realize what's important & what truly matters in life.

**this post can definitely be elaborated on & I already have many different thoughts that I could add...for another day!

Hair Makeover

I'm quite compulsive when it comes to my hair. It normally goes something like this, I can't stand it anymore, I'm chopping it off. I then hurry and text my beautician (is that really what they are still called?) and see how soon I can get in. I make an appointment, and then stew about whether I really want to chop it off. I'm now sitting in the chair and tell her to cut it to my chin. Really? Yes, that's about 3 inches! Or 5 or 6, she's says! Go for it, just cut it and be done. She does and I love it!

Now, my normal cheap or lazy self would let my new cute style grow another 5 or 6 inches before a trim and/or cut. I really like my new cut and semi-promised her that I would keep up with it this time! We'll see.

**I got my hair cut on a Saturday, so going back to work on Monday was as if I was a totally different person. Students, both boys and girls, are extremely observant. Immediately they were making comments, but I had one that stuck out! I walked into one of my classrooms and one of the students said "Mrs. Chandler, you got your hair cut, I love it!" Thanks, I replied. Then another student (boy) speaks up and says, "WHYYYY?" (while sort of putting his hands up). I turned around & laughed and then asked him, "who are you, my husband?" He laughed & admitted he liked my hair longer. For real, these 8th graders are pretty darn opinionated & don't have a problem with sharing their thoughts.

Temper Tantrums, already???

Literally, on Flynne's 1st Birthday, I witnessed her first temper tantrum. Holy moly! I was kind of in awe and couldn't really believe it was happening. What was wrong with her. She enjoys playing with our phones and watching "Gigglebellies" on YouTube. I had a video "If You're Happy & You Know It" on the phone (how ironic!) and once it ended she was so mad. Threw the phone down, and then proceeded to throw her body against the floor and kick her legs. Flynne isn't around other kids much, which leads me to this question... Where in the world did she learn this? I really didn't know how to respond, but I do know that everything I did only made her more mad! Both my husband and I are hoping this isn't the beginning of the terrible twos, since she is JUST one! I'm continually reminded by many, that OUR sweet daughter may have a little bit of her momma in her! Good for her! She's blessed! :)

Wild Woman Walking

Flynne is WALKING! She had absolutely no interest in walking & had made it clear that it was going to be all on her own terms. Towards the end of last week she started walking away from her toys instead of sitting down & crawling. We were able to get her on camera the first night! She gets so excited and is very proud of herself for reaching her destination. Now, she's walking more than crawling while playing in the living room. It's a bittersweet moment when you realize your child is growing up, and reaching another milestone.

FlashMob

On Friday, I was asked or somewhat forced to participate in a Flash Mob at school for an assembly Monday. Really??? Thanks for the heads up. Of course, inside, I was like oh yea, this will be fun. Then Monday rolled around, I didn't know the whole dance & was stressed about it. I had anxiety like my students do who have to get up in front of the class to give a speech. I felt sick to my stomach, seriously! What was I thinking? Why in the world would I commit to something like this? I have to get up in front of 300 plus people, granted a majority of them were younger than 14, but still.

The dance was for an assembly on anti-bullying & accepting everyone for who they are. It ended up being a lot of fun & thank goodness one of my best friends likes to have a good time, she stole the show! There were probably 40 students and 10 or so teachers involved. The other students seemed to really like it too. One of the best parts is that the students can see that we aren't just teachers, but people who like to have a good time & are able to laugh, smile & DANCE!

Struggles of an IS

As an Intervention Specialist, on a daily basis I have an internal debate with myself on whether I'm doing the best I can at my job. In my school building we practice inclusion. Inclusion is the educational practice of educating children with disabilities in classrooms with children without disabilities. This has been around for awhile, but only within the last 3 or 4 years has it been implemented in my school building. I teach with some pretty great people, but some of them seem to have their ways of teaching set & I don't always know where I fit in "their" classroom. I think co-teaching (teaching alongside & with the classroom teacher) would be great, but I don't exactly know how to begin that.

Traditionally, an intervention specialist in an inclusion setting is an observer during the general education teacher’s lesson, where they might circulate to make sure their students are focused and listening. At the end of the lesson, they often circulate to help those students who didn’t understand what they were doing or pulling small groups to reteach or intervene. Their expertise is in reteaching in small groups or one-on-one. They are not used to delivering a lesson in front of a whole classroom.

Which leads me back to co-teaching. I'm not used to teaching the whole class, nor am I completely familiar with everything that is being taught in the general classroom everyday. I get accused of helping the kids too much, guiding them more than they need, and not making them do more on their own. I came across this following paragraph and couldn't say it any better myself:

"Intervention specialists are trained to understand the minds and thought processes of students on IEP’s, but now we are asking them to understand the minds and thought processes of the general education student as well. Now, that may not seem like a big deal, but believe me, it is a completely different way of thinking and requires a different way of teaching. It’s more hands-off at times, offering minimal guidance as needed. This is foreign to an intervention specialist who is used to restating and reteaching until the light comes on. The challenge is to not give too much help, which might result in the general education students relying too heavily on her when they might not need that extra help."

I would love to work closer with my general education teachers to benefit the students as much as possible, but this then leads me to my next issue. I have both 6th & 8th grade students this year, which means I'm expected to be in 6th grade Math, Reading & English, AND 8th grade Math & Reading all in the same day. Let me also add that all of those 5 classes mean there are 5 different teachers too. Since I'm "responsible" for the student's on IEPs, I'm also assumed to be their parent at times. I can only do so much with these kids. I cannot pick up their pencil & complete their homework for them. I can't make them magically pass a test. I can't force them to focus & be "good students" AND I can't take away their disability, BUT what I CAN do is help them with their homework, reteach a lesson, show them patience & let them know & show them that I care, not only about their schoolwork, but about their lives too. I feel like a rubber band being stretched in so many different directions. Don't get me wrong, I love my job & enjoy the daily challenge. I work very well with a couple of my general education teachers and what we do works, I just hope I'm serving my students the best I can! Because, after all, if I'm going to be a working mom & away from my daughter every week day, I better be making it worth while!

Pokes. Shots. Screams.

On Wednesday after school I rushed home to change and get Flynne ready for her one year checkup. Talk about mixed feelings! I'm always excited to see how much she has grown & where she is on the growth chart, but I'm also as nervous as a cow in a beef factory, because I know she has to get lots of shots. (Okay, I might not be THAT bad, but it's pretty bad).

When we walked into the office the first thing Flynne did was give a big old scowl to the sweet receptionists. Lately, she's developed an attitude toward strangers, which isn't awful, but not always fun for everyone else! She finally lightened up & was able to give a little wave. We were called back & the first thing the nurse did was weigh Flynne...all 23lbs of her! This puts her in the 85th percentile for weight. She's a little over 29 inches long, the 50th percentile. Poor girl is short & chubby! The doctor assured me that she was healthy & I had nothing to worry about.

Flynne eventually warmed up to the doctor and showed off her babbling, waving & acrobatic skills. Then...the worse part came. TWO nurses came in to tag team her. One poked her finger for lead & iron testing (which she didn't mind much) & then the other prepped her cute chunky thighs for 3 sharp painful pokes! And then the real fun began, it wasn't one second after the first jab that poor Miss Flynne was red-faced, screaming & had tears streaming down her rosy cheeks. I felt awful (as all normal people would). Here I am pinning her arms & body down, and all I want to do is take away her pain. She has this look in her eyes like, "Mom, what are you doing to me? Please stop!" Finally, the whole process that maybe takes 30 seconds, but feels like forever, is over. She's now crying uncontrollably & taking those deep short breaths that really make it sad. BUT, as soon as the nurses left the room & closed the door, she stopped, just like that! Thank goodness! Done with that, at least until her 15 month checkup. Boo!

When we got home I removed her bandaids immediately & then proceeded to read the different shot information handouts. Ugh! Why would I be so stupid to do that? My advice to you: DO NOT READ THOSE! I then officially freaked myself out & sent a friend a text immediately. She calmed me down & told me to "stop googling scary stories, she is fine". (Sounds like something my mom would say!) Well, I actually didn't google anything, just read the nice handout the doctors gave me. I took a deep breath & said a prayer, what's worrying going to do anyway, right?!?

So far, Flynne has done great & those stupid shots haven't phased her :)

con•trol freak

con•trol freak - noun
A person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control and to take command of any situation.

Remember when I said I like to be in control? I have always found it very hard to adjust and accept others requests that I do not always agree with, or more bluntly, that I don't want to do. I'm 27 years old and still haven't learned how to "not sweat the small stuff". I'm trying to enjoy every moment & enjoy the little things, but when will I learn to let go of the things I can't control? I wonder why everyone doesn't think like I do? Clearly, I'm one of the more "common-sensed" thinkers, according to myself, but that doesn't matter when I'm dealing with other people. Sometimes this just makes it all that more frustrating. Of course, this is my own opinion, and I'm not saying it's right or wrong or good or bad, I'm admitting that I have trouble accepting things I can't do anything about, I don't have a say in, or something I'm being TOLD to do.

That being said, I suppose my next area of improvement should be to not be such a control freak. Things are things & money is money, but family, friends & coworkers are all deserving of a happy & positive attitude, someone who is willing to do whatever needs to be done, even if you don't like it, don't want to do it, or think it's plain stupid.

I'm trying to make positive changes in my life and this is definitely something that won't happen over night. My first step is to take a deep breath & acknowledge that we are all different and not everyone thinks like me, or cares about the same things I do, or has the same interests or style as I do. If we were all the same, that would be an awfully boring life. I'm definitely not the life of the party, or the queen of style (I'm normally in khakis & a plain sweater), or super smart, or hilarious. But I am a caring & compassionate person who enjoys making others smile and reaching out to people that I think need a smile or someone to talk to. I root for the underdog & try my best at almost everything I do (except dieting :)). When it comes down to it, I don't want to be known as the pain in the butt who was always stubborn, unwilling to budge, or difficult in certain situations. So, here's to accepting others differences & loving everyone for who they are.

Side-note from The Teacher's Lounge:
Just when I want to yell at a student for screwing around & not paying attention to me, he comes up with a comment like this, "Mrs. Chandler, how'd you ever get involved in teaching, when you could be a model? I mean seriously!" I couldn't help but laugh & smile, because honestly if you knew the source, you'd only laugh too!

Two-Hour Delays = Extra Snuggles

Over the past couple of weeks we have had 4 two-hour delays, including yesterday. Two-hour delays are something I've come to love. It is definitely worth the text that wakes me up at 5:30am. Now, you may think, really, you are excited about 2 hours? Do you know what I get to do in my extra 2 hours? I typically get ready at the same time as normal & I am able to keep Flynne on her typical schedule. No, I don't sleep in or stay in my pajamas, I spend as much quality time with my daughter as possible. I'm able to get her dressed in no rush, feed her a bottle on her time (I don't have to constantly look at the clock & think I only have 15 more minutes), we get to read books, play with toys, snuggle, & eat breakfast together.

As a working mom I've come to cherish every minute with Flynne & as my husband continually reminds me, since I'm working I don't take for granted the time I get to spend with my daughter or him. I can't wait to come home & play with her & I never have the feeling of please help me, I need a break. As of right now there aren't many places we don't go without Flynne, and on Saturday we'll get to have our first date night in a long time! I even then feel guilty not being home with her, even though she will be in bed for most of it. I feel guilty a lot of the time for working & missing her day, but I know it's what we have decided we need to do as a family right now & that it may not always be like this. I sometimes calculate how much time I miss of Flynne's day (she's with Miss Penny for 7 hours) and I account for her naps, which comes down to roughly 4 1/2 hours. This is if she takes two 1 to 1 1/2 hour naps. When I put it into perspective that I end up missing 4 1/2 hours of wake time, it doesn't seem AS bad. I'm blessed to not have to come home & clean or take time to make dinner (most of the time) & can really just go in the living room & play!

Every family is different & their choices are all their own. For my family, this is what we've chosen to do right now & by sticking together & working as a team, we make it work :)

ONE year ago today!

How can it be? One year ago today my life changed in a way I never could have imagined & I really can't even describe. We welcomed Flynne Anabelle into our lives at 5:52pm weighing in at 6lbs13oz. She was a tiny peanut ready to meet the world.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. I woke up at 6:30am thinking something was going on, my sweet husband told me to take a shower & he was sure I'd feel better after that! (He had told me since Monday of that week that he was going to sleep in Saturday morning!) So, I did take a shower & it only got worse. We drove to Wooster on a snowy morning & got checked into the hospital. My husband and I spent the day sort of "waiting" with no visitors. We finally welcomed the best gift of all later that evening!

It's crazy for me to think that it's really already been ONE year. I swear a year has never gone this fast in my life before. Flynne went from being so helpless & dependent on me to becoming more independent each day. She has a little bit of her mommy in her & I can already see the stubbornness & will to do it on her own, in her eyes. She's inquisitive & explores everything. She's hilarious & makes the funniest faces I've ever seen. She likes to cuddle & gives the best kisses. She is my daughter, my first born & a best friend. I don't know what I'd do without her. She brings so much joy & love into our lives each & every day. I hope she grows up knowing just how special & loved she is! I can't wait to celebrate many more birthdays & milestones with Flynne Anabelle!

Flynne's FIRST Birthday Party!

Yesterday, we celebrated Flynne! I can't believe she's already ONE. We had a nice gathering with family to help us celebrate. Everyone munched on food, food & more food as well as lots of desserts. (I have pictures of the food on a different camera, I'll post later!) Flynne did amazingly well & was not scared of everyone singing "Happy Birthday" to her. Even Uncle Randy didn't scare her with his awesome singing voice ;) She thoroughly enjoyed watching her little cousins run around and do everything possible to try & make her laugh. One of our highlights was getting to Skype with my brother & sis-in-law (sister) in California! We connected with them on the big screen & they were able to see Flynnie and her cute outfit, as well as everyone else at the party.

We feel so very blessed to have such an amazing family & so many people who love us & Flynne! I know that family is something that can be taken for granted & sometimes you don't appreciate them like you should. But, the older & wiser I get, the more I realize how special our families are. With all of our differences, uniqueness & quirks, we are all individuals who make up a pretty great group of people. I don't know of any other families out there that could call upon any parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle or cousin (on both sides) and know that they would do anything for us at anytime. What an amazing feeling to know how lucky & blessed we truly are. I'm so proud to raise my daughter in a family that values their relationships and is so caring, loving & compassionate for one another. Below are just a couple pictures from Flynne's big day!

I made the "smash cake" below. Super easy & so cute!

It's Friday!!!

I have come to love Fridays. The last day of the work week, casual attire (jeans), text messages from two of my closest teacher friends before we even leave our houses asking who wants Starbucks, knowing that the weekend is just ahead of us & family time is right around the corner. I think of Toby Keith's song (I think he sang it?) "Working for the Weekend". This has become so true in my life. I do like my job, I enjoy my students & have developed amazing friendships with coworkers, but I LOVE my family. Being away from Flynne everyday is extremely hard. I'd be lying if I said I walked out the door at 7:20am and never thought about her. The minute I leave I wonder if she knows I've left, if she's crying for me, if she'll remember that I wasn't with her everyday. Some mornings are better than others and I try to be as strong as I can. I've only cried a couple times and it helps that two of my best friends at school also have babies, we are able to help get each other through the day. As well as random comments from our students that make us laugh when we probably shouldn't! But that's another post for a different day. I know on Friday mornings that I won't have to leave her until Monday and that I can forget about work for the weekend, sorta! Tonight I was doing some finishing touches for my big girl's first birthday party tomorrow. I'm overwhelmed with emotions & can't wait to celebrate her with our family tomorrow...